Saturday, December 3, 2016

day78: live deeper ...

simply this -
love, mom

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Friday, December 2, 2016

day77: beware of a bargain ... love, Pop

"A bargain is something 
you don't really need
 at a price you can't pass up"
Robert D. Fitzgerald (aka Pop)

I grew up hearing this maxim from my Dad, Pop, all the time, and would eye my eyes, but as I grew older I realized the wisdom is his words.  And as we head into the season of buying with all the deals and pressures to buy the perfect gift, I felt it was a good time to remind us all to really think before you buy. 
There are so many ways to shop now which makes it even more important to be a mindful shopper. Also with the profusion of wholesale clubs and warehouse stores it is really, REALLY easy to fall into the trap of spending way more money than you want on things you may not use, just because it is such a good deal. 

Now there are good deals out there and I encourage you to be a savvy shopper!!!  Also those wholesale clubs can be helpful, especially if you have room to store things,  but it is a wise to cultivate the habit of reflecting on what you are buying with each purchase!! 
to take the time to ask yourself these questions: 
1. do I really need this?
2. do I need this quantity of this??
3. would I be buying this if it wasn't on sale??

Asking yourself these questions will help you save money and not fill your home with clutter and things that don't really offer you much.  Also, I hope you will think of Pop, the banker, when you spend your money, because out of all his wacky and sometime annoying quips, this one is an important one and can be a life changer.

spend wisely
love, mom

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Thursday, December 1, 2016

day 76: know the power of knowing and embrace it

I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up,
this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.

Rosa Parks
On this day, in 1955, Rosa Parks was arrested for not giving up her bus seat to a white man.  This act and the words of Rosa Parks seem all the more poignant in our post-election state of affairs.
"As far back as I can remember, I knew there was something wrong with our way of life when people could be mistreated because of the color of their skin." Rosa Parks
So with her courage and message in mind wanted to remind you girls of the power of conviction.  It is amazing how when you allow yourself to believe in your actions, your beliefs, your intuition that you become invincible!!

The problem is that from an early age, society, religions, schools and the media teach us to not trust our inner voice, our intuition.  We are taught to doubt what we feel in our hearts as true.  So many messages are fed to us that this way of thinking is the right way, to go with the party line and not with our true beliefs. And now more than before, it is SO important for you to stand up for what you believe in (I know I am sounding like a broken record, but alas...)

And besides listening to your own personal inner voice, it is highly important to understand the amazing power of knowing.  Knowing and believing in your thoughts, ideas and dreams.  It is a wonderful energy and one I want you to embrace, not run away from.

We still live in a culture where that kind of vision and force is not always welcomed, especially from young women/women and I know many women who shy away from this power.  But I want to encourage you both NOT to couch this power, to embrace it and use it.

Rosa Parks didn't give up her seat on her commute home from a long day of work because she knew that all people, no matter the color of their skin, should have the same rights and should be treated equally.  She knew in her bones that equal rights was for everyone so she stayed seated and was arrested, but wasn't afraid because she knew she was right!!!

so channel your inner Rosa Parks today, my dear ones!!
love, mom

10 Things You May Not Know About Rosa Parks

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Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Day75: You are responsible for YOU ...

"I learned a long time ago the wisest thing
I can do is be on my own side,
be an advocate for myself and others like me."
Maya Angelou
Now more than ever this is true!!! The election has turned this world inside out and upside down, taking us, as a society, back decades and us, as women, into the dark ages. You must be able to take care of yourself, be your advocate, speak up, stand up, and make sure you have the life that YOU want!! 

This means being independent!! & independence comes from being intelligent, knowledgeable and financially sound. 

I am sorry to say that money equals independence!! 
But that is the TRUTH! and to be able to earn enough money to guarantee your independence you need to get a good job that pays you enough for you to live the life that you desire. 

This doesn't mean you need to get a 24/7 demanding job that gives you a 6 figure or 7 figure :) salary, if your dream life doesn't demand tons of money. You need to be able to pay for yourself, and if you want to simpler life and have a low cost of living then you don't need to command a high salary 
(BUT you must command/demand the salary that you deserve!!!)

I have heard there was a study of the correlation between income/net worth and happiness.  The researchers found that one's happiness tops off at $75,000. The study showed that there was not a significant increase in one's happiness after $75,000. I have not read the study and i do have some questions but it also makes sense to me. 

From growing up where I did, I KNOW that money does NOT bring happiness!! I saw too many screwed up folks who had, as Gommie loves to say, deep pockets!! but they were definitely not happy. That is one of those falsehoods perpetuated by media, corporations, stores ... more money means you can buy more and more stuff means you are more happy?!?!? NOT TRUE!!! 

Be kick-ass my little ones!! love, mom

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Tuesday, November 22, 2016

day74: drive defensively!!


After doing just a bit of research for this post I wonder why any of us get behind the wheel of a car in the first place!!! propelling one's self around at varying speeds in a collection of metal, plastics, glass and electronics that weighs, according to Google,  an average, 4,079 pounds* The statistics about crashes, fatalities and injury incurred while driving is staggering,  but then we add a whole list of distractions and risks and one wonders why we are not all dead!?!

At the bottom of this post are some facts and figures which reenforce the importance of certain driving practices that you should ALWAYS follow to be a safe driver, such as:
  5. DON'T GET DISTRACTED WHILE DRIVING, meaning besides not texting or checking your phone, don't put on make-up, try to find something in your purse, bag or in the car, don't have your music excessively loud, don't have intense or complicated conversations with other passengers, KEEP YOUR EYES AND HEAD ON THE ROAD.
But it is NOT enough for you to practice safe driving rules, it is just as important that you 
because there are many people on the road who are NOT practicing safe driving.  

So along with  being a safe driver, you need to be a defensive driver; alert and aware and prepared for the other drivers being drunk, distracted, angry, tired and/or generally unsafe.  You need to be able to anticipate possible dangerous situations and be prepared to adjust, even though you may have the right of way.

Drive defensively.  Be on the alert!!! Notice the cars in the adjoining lines while on the highway, are they swerving or drifting?!?! When approaching an 4 way stop, make sure the other drivers are stopping.  Don't just pull out in front of a moving car just because that car is supposed to  stop!  Never assume anything about other drivers when you are behind the wheel of a car! 

Soon after we moved to the Boston area I had the unnerving experience having someone who was in the right-turn only lane, charge out into the intersection the minute the light turned green and turned LEFT in front of three lanes of traffic!! It was a serious wake-up call about the insane way some people drive.  If I had darted out into the intersection when the light turned green, I would have been in a nasty crash, even though I would have had the right of way. It could have been messy and dangerous and possibly deadly, but I usually hesitate when my light turns green because drivers run red lights, especially if they just turned red.  Also it is good to make sure all pedestrians are out of harms way.  

I encourage you to drive safe and drive defensively not only because I want you to be safe, but I also do not want you to carry the weight of injuring or killing another person with your car, be it a passenger in your car or someone outside your car.  No matter if you had the right of way, that is a heavy weight to carry around with you.

A car is a deadly piece of machinery and can wreak havoc in a split second, checking a text averages about 5 seconds, 5 seconds that your eyes are off the road and your mind is somewhere else ... CRASH!!  

So be a 
 NO DRINKING and driving, 
NO TEXTING and driving, 
and be a  

be safe 💙
love, mom

1.  An average of 90 people died each day in motor vehicle crashes in 2014, one fatality every 16 minutes.
 2.  In 2014 there were 9,967 alcohol- impaired-driving fatalities, representing an average of one alcohol-impaired- driving fatality every 53 minutes.
3. Of the 209 children 14 and younger who died in alcohol-impaired-driving crashes, 56 percent were occupants of vehicles where the drivers had blood alcohol con- centrations (BACs) of .08 g/dL or higher. 
 4.  On average, a pedestrian is killed in a motor vehicle crash every 108 minutes, and one is injured about every 8 minutes.

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Monday, November 21, 2016

day73: stand up for diversity

It is time for parents to teach 
young people early on 
that in diversity there is beauty and 
there is strength. 

Maya Angelou

In case I have not made myself clear as a parent ...
'there is beauty and there is strength' in DIVERSITY!!
I have said this before and I am going to say it again, 
embrace diversity.
This message is even more critical with the new 
political landscape of our country and the world, 
diversity is under attack.  
Now more than ever before parents, teachers, mentors, peers, need to stand up and protect diversity. This means being extra aware of language and actions that might belittle or threaten others.

In the days since the election I have been reading the wise words of Martin Luther King, Jr.  So many of his quotes apply to our current state of affairs, yet this quote now breaks my heart.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
This is my dream too, that no child will be judged by gender, skin color, religious beliefs and/or sexual preference. On election day we took a major step backwards from this goal, the election results have validated some seriously bad behavior and rhetoric which MUST be stopped.

We need to be vigilant that all people are treated with dignity and respect.

love, mom

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Saturday, November 19, 2016

day72: eliminate the unnecessary ...

“Things which matter most 
must never be at the mercy of 
things which matter least.”

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Thursday, November 17, 2016

day71: the power of love

"One words frees us of 
all the weight and pain of life: 
That word is love." 

dear girls, the results of the 2016 presidential election shattered me!! for so many, many reasons, but the biggest reason is what it means for you two, my most amazing and loved daughters.  this is not the state of the world that i would have EVER wanted for you, for ANYONE! but alas, here it is ....

it has taken me days for me to figure out how to continue my '100days of motherlove' to you.  each time i start a post it turns into a 'rant' which is not what i want these posts to be.

however, the truth is that our world has been changed drastically, and not in a positive way.  humanity and basic human rights took a major hit.  i believe that we are now need to step up, to be vigilant, protecting our beliefs that all humans should be treated equally and with respect and dignity.  this is not a new concept for this blog.  however, after election day this message feels so much more urgent and critical that i was paralyzed for a bit, but it would not stop me.

yet with so much to say, to do, to grieve, to mourn, to rally for, to rage against, where to begin??? well ... I decided to begin with what gets me up every morning, what I believe in, whole-hearty ...
today I am beginning with the power of LOVE!!!!

LOVE a simple short word that is so powerful and transformative. it is both verb and noun, an action and a state of mind/heart/soul/spirit.  I firmly believe in the power of love and for today I wish to reenforce the power of that belief to you both!

last night i was part of a peace rally here in natick, in response to nasty things that have been happening since the election.  of course our dear friend heather was there, and we started to singing the chorus of 'all you need is love' by the beatles.  it moved me to be singing a beatles song, as i held my rainbow peace flag high.

two members of the beatles, john lennon and george harrison, were very vocal about peace and love and created many beautiful songs celebrating the power of these forces.  since i have shared lennon's 'imagine' on this blog many times, today I turn to the beautiful George Harrison, who left this world with many messages about the power of peace and love. i ask you to take a moment to sit and listen to this song, it has given me a sense of hope, see what you think
.... love, mom

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Wednesday, November 9, 2016

day70: you never need to prove your worth!!!

The moment you feel like you have 
to prove your worth to someone is the moment
to absolutely and utterly walk away.
Alysia Harris

Each one of us is amazing and unique and your loved ones and friends know it and that is why they love you.  And you should never need to prove yourself to be worthy to a friend and especially a loved one.
love, mom

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Tuesday, November 8, 2016

day69: being out in nature does wonders for the soul, and dancing is good too!!!

Today is Election Day and that means an end to this crazy circus which has been the Presidential Campaign of 2017.  Sadly the madness is not going to end today, there has been too much hatred unleashed.  But hopefully some of the nail biting, insomnia inciting, nightmare making anxiety will be alleviated and we, as a nation, can begin to heal and recover from the damage done by a racist, misogynist, sexist, egotistical candidate that has, hopefully, lost.  

But since we, as a nation, are still in a state of anxious anticipation I thought today would be a good day to remind you of the wonders and healing powers of mother nature.  When you are stressed, sad, anxious, tired, 
go outside 
into the fresh air, being in nature is good for the soul.

When you are feeling 'off kilter' or overly stressed, or full of negative thoughts, or bored, 
feel the elements on your face and body, the sunshine, the rain, the cold, the warmth.  Let nature remind you to breathe.  
It is also good if you are feeling good, happy, positive, 
It is a good daily practice no matter you mood, your health or the current state of affairs. 
  I believe in getting outside, in the fresh air, every day!! 
(And of course Scruffy demands it)

When I stayed in Holland it was encouraged, and basically assumed, that one would go outside for a walk during the day, they called it "Een frisse neus halen" (getting a fresh nose) simply means 'going outside'. In America we might say, getting some fresh air.   
I just love that image!!!

So I have planned a LONG walk for later this afternoon, but I have also found another way to let go of my election angst, watching this glorious video created for Humanity for Hillary.  
This video has lightened my heart and my spirit.  This video shows the American that I love and believe in.  I hope it lifts your spirits as much as it has lifted mine!! 
love, mom (and dance, dance, dance)

Because Love is Love 
Because Black Lives Matter
Because climate change is real
Because women's rights are human rights
Because immigrants make America great
Because every vote matters
We dance for Hillary
Because she fights for us
We are with her!
and in case this above video is not loading here is the direct link to Vimeo .... click and enjoy!!
and dance, dance, dance!!!

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