Tuesday, January 10, 2017

day88: to apologize or not to apologize, that is the question ...

Accept everything about yourself - 
I mean everything, 
You are you and that is the beginning and the end - 
no apologies, no regrets. 
Henry A. Kissinger

There are times when it is good and appropriate to say you are sorry, 
but be mindful with your 'sorry's as women tend to apologize A LOT!! 
a lot more than is even justified.
 Studies show that woman/girls are programed to say 'sorry' when something goes wrong, 
even when they had nothing to do with the wrong-doing?!? This tendency to readily apologize is definitely a gender specific trait.  Just take note during the day, woman will apologize way more than men?!?! And many times for things that the woman has no control over?!?!?

This position of accepting blame will affect the energy of the situation, make people feel more comfortable,  but it is unfavorable for the apologizer.  So be especially mindful in a business or negotiating situation and do not say sorry unless it is really warranted!

Then there are situations where you 
be apologetic!!! 
 I have listed some of them above, but the many idea is 
NEVER apologize for who you are!
(p.s. I did NOT make-up 'don't apologize for a messy home', other lists did say 'messy house' but I think you should not need to apologize if you home/your place of comfort is messy :)

Don't apologize for what you dream, desire and pursue!!
Don't say you're sorry because you do something well, 
example: apologizing for doing well on a paper or exam?!?
Also DON'T make excuses for doing something well!!
It is a proven fact that women tend to down play for their successes, to claim it was luck, or the help from co-workers!?!  
It is hard for a majority of women to take a compliment! 
And again this can be a hinderance to a woman in a business situation.  

accept praise and don't apologize for doing something well.
OWN who you are!!! 
with all your talents and imperfections.

and as I first said, there are times and places to say you are sorry, 
and here is a beautiful apology from one of my favorite poets, 
William Carlos Williams.
love, mom

This is Just to Say 

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold” 

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