I stumbled upon a video of Caitlin Moran speaking with the Times and I was mesmerized by the power of her words and how spot on her message is. I know she is directing these thoughts to teenage girls but I do believe they speak to women of all ages so I want to share it for us all.
'the flowers that you deserve ...'
But I do hope that my teenage girls watch it as it is important to realize that stress/panic and anxiety are not your friends:
"That panic and anxiety will lie to you – they are gonzo, malign commentators on the events of your life. Their counsel is wrong. You are as high, wired and badly advised by adrenaline as you would be by cocaine."
And that we all have the power and ability to deal with things that may seem insurmountable, because all we need to do is get through a minute ...
"Here is a promise, and a fact: you will never, in your life, ever have to deal with anything more than the next minute. However much it feels like you are approaching an event – an exam, a conversation, a decision, a kiss – where, if you screw it up, the entire future will just burn to hell in front of you and you will end, you are not."
Caitlin Moran: A Letter to Teenage Girls
Below is the text that Caitlin Moran read at Letters Live, shared by Stylist.co.uk
This open letter was shared exclusively with Stylist.co.uk and is dedicated "to the girls I meet at my book signings." The writer and feminist activist read the letter aloud at Letters Live, the self-termed "live celebration of the enduring power of literary correspondence," chaired by thespians and authors.
I can tell instantly as when you step up, darling. I know. The posture, the sleeves over the hands, something in your eyes – you the girls who are struggling right now. Some of you are hard and tense with overeating. Others, anorexic, feel like starving baby birds when I hug you – a handful of brittle bamboo canes. Maybe your arms are furious with criss-cross razor lines, or studs in your ear, your nose, your tongue, where you have tried to reclaim your bodies from something, or someone, with the snap of a piercing gun. Sometimes your parents are there – standing in the background, nervous, their faces anxiously projecting, “She likes you. Please make her feel better now. Oh Christ, don’t break her.” Other times, your parents aren’t there, but still present – their carelessness or rejection as tangible as if they were standing a foot away, casting mile-long shadows. What do I say to you girl - you beautiful girls? You girls who are having the Bad Year – the Bad Year where you cannot remember why you were happy aged 12, and cannot imagine being happy at 21? What can I say in one minute, two minutes, three minutes? So many things. That panic and anxiety will lie to you – they are gonzo, malign commentators on the events of your life. Their counsel is wrong. You are as high, wired and badly advised by adrenaline as you would be by cocaine. Panic and anxiety are mad, drugged fools. Do not listen to their grinding-toothed, sweaty bulls***. Here is a promise, and a fact: you will never, in your life, ever have to deal with anything more than the next minute. However much it feels like you are approaching an event – an exam, a conversation, a decision, a kiss – where, if you screw it up, the entire future will just burn to hell in front of you and you will end, you are not.
That will never happen. That is not what happens. The minutes always come one at a time, inside hours that come one at a time, inside days that come one at a time – all orderly strung, like pearls on a necklace, suspended in a graceful line. You will never, ever have to deal with more than the next 60 seconds. Do the calm, right thing that needs to be done in that minute. The work, or the breathing, or the smile. You can do that, for just one minute. And if you can do a minute, you can do the next. Pretend you are your own baby. You would never cut that baby, or starve it, or overfeed it until it cried in pain, or tell it it was worthless. Sometimes, girls have to be mothers to themselves. Your body wants to live – that’s all and everything it was born to do. Let it do that, in the safety you provide it. Protect it. That is your biggest job. To protect your skin, and heart. Buy flowers – or if you are poor, steal one from someone’s garden** ; the world owes you that much at least: blossom – and put them at the end of the bed. When you wake, look at it, and tell yourself you are the kind of person who wakes up and sees flowers. This stops your first thought being, “I fear today. Today is the day maybe I cannot survive any more,” which I know is what you would otherwise think. Thinking about blossom before you think about terror is what girls must always do, in the Bad Years. And the most important thing? To know that you were not born like this. You were not born scared and self-loathing and overwhelmed. Things have been done – which means things can be undone. It is hard work. But you are not scared of hard work, compared with everything else you have dealt with. Because what you must do right now, and for the rest of your life, is learn how to build a girl. You. Love, Caitlin
** if you can't buy and you don't want to steal - print the above picture and post it at the end of your bed or on your night stand, where it will be the first thing that you see in the AM!! VF
"So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect, so we never dare to ask the universe for it. I’m saying, I’m the proof that you can ask the universe for it. ... As far as I can tell, it's just about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it while letting go of how it might come to pass." Jim Carrey
There is a lot of wisdom in Jim Carrey's word from his commencement address to Maharishi University of Management's class of 2014, so take a moment to watch this video.
I wanted to highlight this quote because the idea of "fear disguised as practicality".
Many, many people hide behind the excuse that they need to be practical, responsible, mature instead of following their dreams.
These people can be quite critical and bitter to those who do follow their hearts, so beware.
Of course there are times and places to be more practical, like when other people are depending on you. But when you are young, when you are a student, you have the freedom to be fearless and impractical ... so do it!! Ask the universe for what you REALLY want!!!
this might be a generational thing, and for your generation backing up is second nature. However if it is not, here is a friendly reminder ... BACK-UP your computer!!!
It is thoroughly nerve-wracking when you realize how much of our lives now reside in/on these collection of metal and electronics!!! And one never really realizes how much is on their computer until the computer crashes!! So treat your information with respect and care and BACK it UP!!!
