“I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'Well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.”
Well you two girls are now back at school and getting into the swing of your second semester meaning I need to get back into the swing of our 100days of motherlove. So to get us all into a proper state of mind I thought a good place to start is with these wise words from Maya Angelou, about self forgiveness and self acceptance.
Self acceptance is a wonderful and powerful place from where to live!! I believe that our society works hard to erode our sense of self and well being in many ways. Self doubt and insecurity gives others immense power over you. These undermining principles are the basis of advertising and most marketing. Think about most magazine publications, their success comes from selling you the idea that you are not doing something 'right' and that they can offer you a better way; a better way to look, speak, organize your home, to exercise .... That is why there were hardly any magazines in the house when you were young and there was never a fashion magazine.
Be aware of external messages that make you question your inner-wisdom, your true knowing and what you heart tells you. You alone know your heart's desire and you alone can do your heart's biddings. My hope for you both is that you do not second guess yourself, and especially I pray that you don't get into the habit of constantly criticizing yourself!!
Much of that negative inner dialogue has been handed down to you through family and environment, and for that I apologize. But I hope that you can be aware of this internal negative thinking and reprogram it now, not years from now, which is what I am doing. Each person is born with an inner compass that can get warped by outer forces and can lead to so much heartache and wasted energy.
So today I say to you both, that you are so wonderful!! and have so much to bring to this world!!! Please do NOT find comfort in cutting yourself down and being critical of yourselves. Sadly the world as we know it is overflowing with critical and negative messages, coming at each one of us continually, so it is paramount that you are not also receiving these kinds of messages from yourself. Be kind and forgiving to yourself. Being self-critical is not a success way to motivate yourself (
see day 53 if you need a reminder), it is mostly hurtful and a waste of energy.
I say take that energy and put it into practicing self acceptance and tap into your own inner knowing and bring to the world all that you are capable of doing!!
Know that you both are amazing AF!!
love, mom
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